Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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