She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
