He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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