"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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