I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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