i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
