You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Randomize
