fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
