thus making me awesome and them whores
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
In other news, I just burned my penis
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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