Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
