Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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