next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Randomize
