haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
The adults are the big ones right?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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