with your own penis?
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
