it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
