My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize