Having a random hookup so left but love u
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
