I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize