if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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