We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I just gargled with NyQuil
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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