Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
