Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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