I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Randomize
