I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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