that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
