I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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