Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
You have to summon your inner elephant
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
