Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
