i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
