ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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