Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
