There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
