ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Randomize
