I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
