it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
