I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Randomize
