I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
