that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
