You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
