so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
