do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
