Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
