U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
