Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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