We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize