I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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