ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
