Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
