So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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