I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Randomize
