it was like his penis was on wheels.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize