I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
