today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
