So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize