Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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