I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Randomize
