i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
