you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
ok first of all what the fuck
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
