Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
