I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
