Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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